Hi,
Firstly, get yourself a hot air SMD re-work station. This will open up a whole new world for you. I have been playing with electronics for years and after I got mine, I knew I should have got one years ago.
I got a:
http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/2in1-862D-SMD-Soldering-Hot-Air-Iron-Japan-Heater-Rework-Station-Welder-/110882048751?pt=AU_B_I_Electrical_Test_Equipment&hash=item19d115caefIt works great and the soldering iron is pretty good as well, comes with a fine tip. for about AU$140 definately worth it. You can aso get hot air stations only for a bit less if you dont need the iron, though I find it handy to have 2.
Much easier de-soldering small components.
also watch the solderin tutorials on eevblog on youtube. there are a few of them and I dont care how long you have been soldering, you will learn something. It stands to reason that something with only a few small variables - heat, tip, iron, solder, flux, material - get one of these slightly wrong and you have changed a big propertion of your task.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9FC9fAlfQEthe videos should answer your tip problem.
BTW I would buy a selection of tips, the very smallest tip possible, then about 3 others ranging upwards and test till you get one you like. Every iron is different and every person feels comfortable with different variables generally.
there is a thread on here in the flash memory section about soldering to monoliths, it has some more soldering info.
cheers