Something completely off-topic

[fujimax]

I read this on a local forum and just made my day ..

The gorgeous girl is walking past the construction site all neatly
dressed in her short red skirt and tight tee-shirt.

The hard hatted construction workers stop and hiss :

"Tssssss, Tssssss, Tsssss, tsssssss......."

The girl responds :

"Hey ! what wrong with u guys "??

"Does your brains have a puncture" ?

[Tony]

I hope Dmitriy wouldn't mind...

A mother is trying to show off her 3 year old daughter's skills.
- honey, let's show your friends how you remember the months.
Jan...
- uary.
Feb...
- ruary.
Good girl. And now all the months by yourself...
...arch
...pril.
...ay
...ne
...ly
...gust
...ber
...ber
...ber
...ber

[guru]

It's good to after a hard days work .....



What Every Woman Wants !!!!!!!!!!

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and abright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.